Monday, July 29, 2013

Dressing Down: A Serious Flight Risk

(Sharon is gone for the week to New York.  So, I am in charge!  Woot!  Woot!  Prairie Eydie)

This post is going to make me sound like an old geezer.  (Yes, it probably will.  But when has that stopped you?) 

No, I am not sitting by Ciara.
She is in first class. I just
grabbed this from Google images.
Geez Louise, doesn't anyone dress up anymore?  So I am waiting for my plane to take off for NYC, and I am looking at my fellow passengers.  Really, pajama pants and a ratty tank top?  Is that last night's spaghetti sauce on your left 34 D? This is your travel wear?  If it is going to be a 17 hour flight to Beijing--maybe, but we are talking about a mere three hours of flight time, O'Hare to LaGuardia.  You can't sit for a couple of hours in a decent pair of jeans?  Do I want to see the top of your thong panties as you bend over to arrange your carry-on under the seat? When is the last time you shaved those underarms? I love Hello Kitty, but to see distorted cat faces stretched across your behind... Blech!  Oh dear.  I usually wear my Hello Kitty pajama pants to school on "PJ Day."  I hope Sharon isn't trying to tell me something.  I am just glad that they aren't serving breakfast on this flight.  I remember sitting next to a woman, on a flight from Seattle to Milwaukee.  She had a kit to make tuna salad.  She entertained herself, and DISGUSTD ME, by making the tuna salad and slowly savoring it on crackers. 

Dear Prairie Readers, can we admit that there has been a serious decline in standards of dress during the last four score and twenty (I've always wanted to borrow that phrase.)?  Not that I want to go back to men wearing shirts and ties to mow the lawn,  I have a neighbor who wears long khakis and a striped polo to mow his lawn.  I appreciate the extra effort he makes  but do I really want to see my neighbor mowing that same lawn in a pair of sports shorts, and only a pair of sports shorts?  If it was Michael Landon you wouldn't have a problem.  Sir, let me tell you that you do not have the buff physique to pull off that look.

This reminds me of a fun interview Jon Stewart had with David Sedaris.

This is not a pair of pajamas.
This is a pantsuit circa 1974.
I remember when the first woman's pantsuit first appeared walking up to the communion rail in my childhood churchWas there a woman in the pantsuit?  Or was it floating to the communion rail?  My father, dressed in his three- piece suit despite the 80 degree temps, leaned over and whispered, "Looks like two tigers fighting under a blanket." I don't think he meant any harm with that comment. It was just a very honest observation.  Where does this leave Hilary?  He viewed himself with the same critical eye. When my mom purchased him his first non-white dress shirt, he said, "It looks like the Easter Bunny threw up on me." 

There are times that I slip into the grocery for that early morning cartoon of eggs in a questionable state of appearance.  Yes, I may be unshowered and wearing a pair of worn sweats, but if I am going to present myself to 150 passengers in the tight quarters of economy class,  I usually try to spruce up a bit--a comb, a bit of deodorant, clothing that I don't regularly wear to bed. Flying is no longer a nylon hose and white glove experience, but I figure if you have to sit next to me for several hours, at least I shouldn't make your eyes burn.  Geez.  Why haven't you told us what dynamic, envelope pushing outfit you're wearing?  It had better not involve Hello Kitty or leggings.

Shoot! I have to turn off all electronic devices.  Eydie is going to have to post this half-written.
  Prairie Sherry

Hey!  Sharon was cut off before she got to Michael Landon Monday.  Lets see what I can come up with on short notice.  Below is an actual photo of Michael getting ready to board an airplane in L.A.




  1. I have to admit to wearing my pajamas on both flights and to my teaching job on occasion - sometimes fresh out of bed! (In my defense, they are black and could be mistaken as yoga pants. And, yes, I do slip on a bra under the tee shirt I wore the night before if I'm going anywhere important.)

  2. Leah - you can pull the pajama look off. Just flutter those fabulous eyelashes of yours. :-) Plus, moms with small children get passes. Let Sharon wear the pant suits and white gloves. ;-)