|Prairie Grl and Prairie Pa set aside gardening disputes for an idealic Father's Day photo. June, 2013|
My father, affectionately known to our readers as "Prairie Pa", is an avid gardener. In honor of Father's Day I have composed a list of 7 things I know for sure about him, as a gardener.
7. Dad sometimes has too much time on his hands and is prone to bouts of "snarkiness." Recently he sent me an email, written from the point of a view of a Bleeding Heart plant I generously shared with with him. Here is his obnoxious email in it entirety:
Thank you loving gardener, Timmy, for rescuing me from my Evil Step Gardener, Edith. My Evil Step Gardener viciously dug me out of the ground, cutting off many of my appendages and tossing me into a cardboard box. I was purposely left in the sun for two weeks without water even though I was selfless in producing beautiful, red bleeding hearts year after year.
When you rescued me, I was near death, with only two leaves. I had said my final prayers and was ready to go to that great green house in the sky. But you took me to your home, planted me in just the right location, fertilized me, and stayed up all night caring for my every need. It took several years for me to recover, but thanks to you, loving gardener, I am now a record size bleeding heart, the envy of all the neighborhood.
And to my Evil Step Gardener, all I can say is eat your (bleeding) heart out.
6. Dad has the best attitude about gardening. He will give all plants a shot (except "boring" ornamental grass). If a container of plants isn't doing well in the front of the house, he will cart it to a different location on his estate.
5. Prairie Pa does not like Prairie Ma to clutter up his flower gardens with whimsical decor. He WILL put up a fight to defend his territory.
4. Dad makes awesome vanilla lattes, but would not make a good barista at Starbucks. It takes him 30 minutes to make three lattes and then he closed up shop so I can get back to his garden.
3. Prairie Pa is NOT humble about his garden. In fact I would go as far to say that he is a dreaded "Garden Gloater."
2. Dad is very opinionated. Here are some of his opinions:
- Irises are a waste of space.
- Miracle-Gro should be bought in bulk.
- You can never buy too many impatiens.
- Never get sentimental about trees, especially if they are blocking rays from sun loving flowers.
1. Wave petunias or hostas. Soil or compost. Miracle-Gro or coffee grounds. Prairie Pa remains the absolute best dad for this Prairie Grl.
Happy Father's Day to all the "A+" dads out there!