Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Prairie Grl SNAPS (Part 2)

Part 1 of "Prairie Grl SNAPS" left me in an Acupuncture Health Clinic drinking beneficial tea and learning about ear acupuncture. 

I was anxious to meet my acupuncturist and had a preconceived image in my mind.  She did not disappoint and came complete with an asymmetrical haircut, cowgirl boots, orange sundress, and an earnest demeanor.  I liked her and willingly participated in an extensive health history questionnaire.

Gweneth's back after cupping.  Not too bad, right?

My acupuncturist told me that one of the first things she recommended for patients with sinus problems was "cupping."  I pretended to know all about it.  Truthfully, the only thing I knew about cupping was that Gweneth Paltrow had it done.  Photos of her bruised back, post-cupping, wallpapered tabloids for a week or so.  I readily agreed to cupping because Gweneth is very health conscience, so it must be alright.  Here is evidence why we should think independent of celebrities:

My back after cupping.   My traumatized son said it looked like I had angry, red angel wings.  

Cupping is an ancient Asian therapy where heated cups are placed onto the skin, creating suction that improves blood flow.  Can I add that the cups are heated with FIRE which is blazing above you while you are sitting there like a little lamb. But, I have to admit that my sinus pressure was gone 8 seconds into the cupping procedure.  The same pressure that had weighed me down for nine months. 

It's complicated.

Then needles were  gently tapped in all over my body.  Ears.  Nose (like I had little needle whiskers).  Legs.  Arms.  Feet.  You then lay in a darkened room listening to Peruvian music for about 40 to 50 minutes.  I really enjoyed that part.

The acupuncture treatment left me feeling heavy, yet floaty. Grounded, yet flighty. I decided the perfect thing to do  was go to Home Depot to buy mulch.   Feeling cloudy, I walked into a grass seed display before I ran into a co-worker.  The poor thing had to listen to me babble on about acupuncture and cupping.  Her comment after being subjected to looking at my back was, "How medieval of you."    

It is too soon to know if acupuncture works for me.  But, I will be heading back for more murky tea and needles.  (I am going to politely decline any more cupping procedures. Hopefully the benefits I received will be long lived.  I don't want to be known at the community pool as the-mom-with-disgusting-back.)  

If you see me lurching around the co-op, with needles in my ears, shopping for gluten-free muffin tops, make sure to say "Hi."

Prairie Eydie



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