Sunday, March 16, 2014

Top Reasons Why Prairie Eydie Can't Wait For Sinus Surgery


(Prairie Sherry has heard a lot of this during
the past months.)

The last time I posted, I bitterly complained about pulled wisdom teeth and dental hygienists.  Surprise!  I have moved on to other health problems, like a sinus infection that started in September and is still residing in my head.  By now the infection has set up a mini fridge, a Lay-Z Boy recliner, and is streaming Netflix.    

Tuesday I am scheduled to have sinus surgery.  My CT scan proved that all my sinus cavities are full up of mucus, phlegm, and major yuckums.  (If I was Prairie Sherry I would be posting pictures of my scanned sinuses.)  No wonder I have been dragging my sad self around for months.  No wonder the Prairie Grlz "Go Get 'Em Spirit" has been hit hard! 

(Who came up with the term "neti pot" anyway?
Nothing more than a nose douche.  Call it
what it is, sisters and brothers.)

Prairie Readers, you know I am a believer in  Top 7 Lists.  So here you go:

Top 7 Reasons Why Prairie Eydie Can't Wait for Sinus Surgery

(Seals everywhere are offended by Eydie's
comparison.)


1.  The barking seal cough will go away.  No longer will I be shunned at boot camp for uncontrollable barking.  It is no coincidence that people in my group head over to the hand sanitizer three times more than people not in my group. 


(Hoping that Eydie's children aren't packing corticosteroids in their lunch boxes.)


2.  I can fill the fruit bowl with fruit instead of inhalers, antibiotics, codeine-laced cough medicine, etc.


(Will someone bring her a box of Kleenex?)


3.  Bedtime can be at a more adult hour like after 10:00 instead of 8:15.

(Prairie Sherry didn't even recognize herself in this
picture.  That smile looks a bit menacing.)  


4.  Prairie Sherry will stop cursing out my doctor for not referring me to an Ear/Nose/Throat specialist.  Hopefully my dear friend can also cease her chorus of, "You sound terrible!!!"


(Could you at least add a zesty scarf?)

5.  I will once again add color to my wardrobe.  I have been wearing lots of grey - in solidarity to the color of my clogged sinuses. 

(Wondering if Prairie Sherry is going to
get one of those gift cards for all
of her unsolicited but excellent medical
advice?)


6.  Mucus will stay where it belongs.  Today, a very detail oriented co-worker, innocently asked, "What's this?" She went to remove what appeared to be a piece of fuzz from my hair.  To our complete and total horror, the fuzz was phlegm.  Now I have to buy her a hefty Starbucks gift card and hope to she forgets the incident (or at least doesn't mention it in the teacher's lounge). 


(Seriously, Eydie hasn't looked like this in months.)

7.  I will get my energy back and return to blogging regularly!  I have so many ideas to write about!  My ideas are waiting for me in my notebook.  (In the meantime, visit my extremely talented friend Leah's blog at www.newstarteveryday.blogspot.com.  You will be in good hands.)


(This is more like the Prairie Eydie
I have been keeping company with for
the past 5 months.)


Oh.  I almost forgot.  Feel free to shower me with cards, visits, and emails during my 7 to 14 days of convalescence.     

Prairie Eydie

I am guessing that last comment was directed largely at me for forcing Eydie to spiritually, emotionally, and materially celebrate my 365-day birthday for the past two years.  It is payback time.

Prairie Sherry

3 comments:

  1. Quick! go to Boston store carrying some old ragged clothes., give them to the store, get 25% percent off coupon and by new makeup and clothes for after your surgery!

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  2. Get your room ready for your convalescence. Comfy clothes, music, and a big stack of whatever heals you from the library. Best of luck with the surgery, feel better soon!

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  3. I DID take advantage of Boston store's Goodwill sale. Unfortunately I bought Spring clothes. Maybe I can wear them if I add a parka and fleece tights. Patrick, I took your advice and made sure my room was all set before surgery. The rest of the house is a complete WRECK, but my room is a sanctuary. Ahhhhh. Thanks.

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