|Poor Prairie Eydie. The swelling was awful.|
For the first several days, my mouth was stuffed with bloody gauze squares and my mind was stuffed with sandwich dreams, trail mix visions, and pizza fantasies. For two weeks I only ate watery, luke-warm oatmeal and kale smoothies, enhanced with ch-ch-ch-chia seeds. Midway through my "healing" I was offered a plate of spaghetti and meatballs. I held back tears and said I was completely happy with a side of Greek yogurt.
Many people are surprised I still had my wisdom teeth at age 45. "Why?" they ask. It is because I don't like going to the dentist. I have skillfully been avoiding their suggestions that I have my wisdom teeth pulled for years. I swear these dental hygienists had to take "Condescension 101" in order to get their degree. I hate lying about flossing and I really hate how they can easily find out when my last cleaning was. Oh. And the smell of those latex gloves. And the taste of that gruesome tooth polish. And the bleeding gums, which immediately give away my flossing fibs. YUCKUMS.
After finding out about my dental plight, self-righteous "friends" have gone wacko in defense of continuous dental care. (Prairie Sherry is religious about going to the dentist twice a year. She could have easily fallen into the self-righteous category, but instead replied to all of my crazed, oxycodone texts and loaned me a 700+ page Amy Tan book.) These "friends" like to tell me all about their brushing routine, their first electric toothbrush, and how they are experimenting massaging their gums with water picks. Yawn. I am still deciding if I want to continue these friendships. It is probably time to bid adieu. (They are probably contemplating the same about me.)
This may surprise you, but I am changing my naughty ways. Too much energy has been zapped by avoiding the dentist. I have already scheduled my teeth cleaning for the next 12 months and bought my first pink Sonicare toothbrush . I have also solemnly sworn to show up for teeth cleanings for as long as I live. It will be so refreshing not to hear the hygienists bitch about my wisdom teeth.