Monday, November 4, 2013

A Trip to The General Store

Friday marked the end of a 60 hour work week for me. With the two jobs and the end-of-the-quarter grading, I was fried. Maia had plans for the evening, the dog had been fed and let outside, so I stopped at Target on my way home to escape the traffic on the beltline.  I figured that wandering aimlessly down aisles for a half an hour was a better bet than dodging drivers either going to or coming from a post-work-week happy hour.  

Prairie Eydie is the only other person I know who views a trip to Target as good as a couple of hours of psychoanalysis.   It is a place to discover ones self and to heal.  I spent a whole lot of time healing at Target shortly after Mr. Cookie Sheet dumped me for someone with a seemingly better set of kitchen utensils ("The Art of Surviving a Dump" 7/10). The Prairie Grlz often make multiple trips to Target to see if the price on a certain item has lowered enough to warrant it's purchase. Sometimes, as was the case with the pink cowgrl boots (The Art of Buying Long Sleeved Shirts and Pink Cowgrl Boots" 10/30), we just buy regardless of the cost.  Throw caution to the wind for $24.99! What I enjoy about Target is that it is a place where I can buy a blazer to satisfy my need to copy Ellen DeGeneres' fashion sense and bananas for my morning cereal.  Target is the general store of the 21st century.

On Friday's trip I found so many interesting things that I was fully entertained for one and a half hours.  I was pulled out of my slump and re-energized. I even pulled out my camera so I could share with you, my dear Prairie Readers. By the time I left the parking lot, the highway was deserted and I was a new woman.  Here are but a few of my wondrous finds:

I found this sisal squirrel tucked away on a sale shelf.  I didn't consider it's purchase, but it did make me wonder if the sisal rug in my living room is made from the pelts of these little critters.  I thought I was buying something rather herbivorous to place on my floor,  but obviously I don't know my flora from my fauna.

And then I found these little guys a few aisles down. At $2.99, what a steal, and complete with their own nuts.  This is a real find for those squirrel collectors out there.  I think decorative squirrels must be this year's Chia Pet.  In fact, a Chia Pet squirrel might be quite interesting.

This is one of my favorite areas in Target.  Don't we all watch those commercials and say, "Well, that is a real waste of money," when we would really like to order the thing just to see if it looks/works anything like it does in the ad?  Here is where I can actually take that Magic Bra out of the box and determine if it is going to be so comfortable that I will wear it to bed.

Praire Eydie says her kidlettes have been begging for the Cat's Meow for their kitty.  Personally I think it might provide her whole family with hours of entertainment.  It might even replace the Wii. See the little Prairie Children and Prairie Ma scampering around the Cat's Meow.  Prairie Eydie could give up her gym membership.

This is one TV commercial I succumbed to without having actually seen the item.  You know the ad:  The fried eggs just slide off, as does burnt cheese, and a melted Barbie doll head.  Well, my eggs stuck, the burnt cheese left an indelible mark, and while I didn't melt a Barbie doll head in mine, I did melt my spatula, and the whole pan had to be tossed in the trash. 

I wonder how many people are going to be getting this in their Christmas stockings this year?  Fun.

This just makes me wish that I didn't have short hair.  Who doesn't want to have Hot Buns!  I showed this picture to Prairie Eydie, who does have long hair, and she got quite excited.  I know what someone is getting for Christmas!!

I always find it interesting to find what people dump in the wrong aisles.  I found this hanging in the purse display. I can see why someone would want to get this garish garb out of his/her cart, but I wonder how it got in there in the first place.  Even at 50% off, this thing is no steal.  You can't really see the detail--the plastic broach at the neck, the glittery adornments on the skirt.  You also can't see the pile of glitter that sloughed off the skirt and onto the floor. There isn't one single natural fiber in this entire garment.  It would be like wearing a plastic bag. When I showed Prairie Eydie this picture, she admitted to having purchased this princess getup for her youngest.  Prairie Eydie and I don't agree on everything.  I hope she has a good vacuum. 

Prairie Eydie loves all things Hello Kitty, but I told her if she ever puts this thing on her lovely daughter, Lulu, I am calling child protective services.  This thing is a fire and a fashion hazard.  Looks like they skinned Hello Kitty. 

I found this item particularly disturbing.  It is called the Snow Slinger.  Here is a close-up of the package.

So today's bullies need a device for making and throwing snowballs?  Not only does it save their little fingers from freezing, but it also provides them with even greater velocity and distance for their icy projectiles.  Yeah, "fun and easy for everyone." Not for the kid who gets it in the face.

Speaking of cruelty, who would do this to man/woman's best friend?  Even on the packaging, this dog looks miserable.  I bet he is going to pee in someone's boots the first time he gets a chance. Good boy!

If you bought this for your dog, you don't deserve to have a dog.

Sometime's 70% off is a great deal.  If someone paid you a dollar to wear these, it wouldn't be a good deal.

Give me cheesecake, give me pumpkin cheese cake, but never give me a pumpkin cheesecake candle.  Period.

The perfect gift for Great-Grandma--NOT!

Finally, a number of weeks ago I gave you a recipe for "Muffin-in-a-Cup" ("The Art of Convalescence" 9/30)  Well, here is "Kitty-in-a-Cup."  The same person who dumped the ghastly (sorry Eydie) costume in accessories decided that this Halloween Hello Kitty needed to be stuffed in a Christmas mug.  Since Christmas merchandise now goes up right after Labor Day, who wouldn't think they go together.  Guess which Prairie Grl had to purchase this stuffy.  

After all this excitement, this is me by the Nate Berkus display. Nate is some interior designer that Target features in it's attempt to try to get you to think that you are shopping at Macy's or Bloomingdale's.  Prairie Eydie says he's, "Snoozeville."  On this, we agree.  Check out those gold boxes for $19.99.  Get me a couple of used shoe boxes and a $3.99 can of metallic spray paint, and call me an interior decorator.

But this is Target, so I can go over to the Starbucks counter right by the checkout and get caffeinated with a Pumpkin Spice Mocha Caramel Peppermint Marshmallow Turkey Soy Latte before I head out to my car. You can't do that at Bloomingdale's.  

BTW, I walked out of the store with face scrub, a box of wine, scotch tape, Fruit-of-the-Loom underwear, and a pack of Trident. $36.99 on my Red Card.

Prairie Sherry


I really do like Target, and the very nice customer service representatives did not usher me out when I started snapping pictures. They did sort of stand guard like I might flip out at any moment. I do hope they will let me come back.  

PS 2

If you have purchased any of the items shown above, I hope you aren't insulted.  I would never think less of you if you had a set of squirrel salt and pepper shakers on your table or a pumpkin cheesecake candle burning in your living room.  Well, I might gag a little at the last one.  


  1. I am so glad you shop at Target and not Walmart! I would have to wear a adult diaper if I shopped with you- there would be much laughing and leakage!!!

  2. Potty pads are in aisle 9. Just dump those in your cart along with your fashion jewelry, Nate Berkus household accessories, bottle of peppermint schnapps, and pound of feed lot hamburger. Prairie Sherry

  3. You would look great in those multi-colored leggings! And the daughters will have a great time accessorizing your outfit for Thanksgiving!

  4. I think we could be target shopping buddies. I had a great time snapping pictures of random crap on my last target trip. Did you see the box of wine corks for decorating? If someone buys me the wine I would be happy to give them the corks.

  5. Buy wine corks? Separate from the wine??? Why, isn't that like buying the candy bar wrapper minus the chocolate???????