Friday, May 8, 2015

Prairie Pa and The Art of Gardening Advice

Now that the weather is warming and spring is finally here, it is time for some gardening advice from our very own guest blogger, Prairie Pa.  (And you all know how Prairie Pa loves to give advice.)

10 Things Big Box Gardening Center Employees Will NOT Tell You.

1. Don’t bother to ask me any questions because I don’t know anything. I only make $8.50 an hour and my last job was at a car wash.

This joker wants to know if begonias will thrive in partial sun.  What a rube!

2. If you are foolish enough to ask me a question, I will make something up to save face and do it in a positive and condescending manner.

3. Our hanging baskets will never look any better than they do now.

4. Any perennials and shrubs you purchase after July 4th will not survive the winter.

And what I believe unites the people of this nation, regardless of race or region or party, young or old, rich or poor, is the simple, profound belief in gardening for all – the notion that if you regularly water, use organic soil, and periodically fertilize, you can get ahead.
5. I don’t know how to get the blue hydrangeas to bloom either.

6. No matter how cheap the annuals are on our sales rack, do not buy them. If they look shabby now, just wait until you get them home.

7. Our potting soil is greatly overpriced.  Buy compost instead. If you do the numbers, our potting soil cost $5.25 a cubic foot and compost is usually about $1.25 a cubic foot.

Thou shalt place clearly labeled perennials with perennials and annuals with annuals.  
8. Many of our perennials are really annuals. We place these annuals with the perennials and count on people not checking the temperature rating on the information tag.

9. You can grow most of our annuals and veggies yourself with seeds and a couple of grow lamps.

10. Most of the people who buy our plants lose interest and let the weeds take over by July because it is dirty, hard work. If you are not inspired to a spiritual level by the sight of a bed of well cared for flowers—forget the whole thing and fill your flowerbeds with colored stones.

Shop the "Prairie Pa Way" - at your local garden centers.

Prairie “The Rocket” Pa


  1. oh no! just because a man sprouts an extra head from his shoulder does not entitle him to park in the handicap spot. now where are those coloured stones...?

  2. Prairie Pa was trying to point out that everyone "needs" a frog riding a bicycle in their garden. I took this poor photo - complete with handicap spot (we did not park there) and obnoxious brother photo bomb.

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