Wednesday, July 2, 2014
The Art of Inspiration Part 2
My previous post, The Art of Inspiration Part 1, left me in a bitter space. No ideas for my Nonfiction writing class. Violent Milwaukee Public Schools (MPS) flashbacks. Two pages scrawled with whining. (My former roommate used to remind me that whining is anger through a teeny tiny hole.) Sad, sad, sad Prairie Eydie.
I decided to look through the journals I was keeping when I worked at MPS. I thought memories would be jostled and I could start writing a best selling memoir with confidence. Surprise! There were no "Ah-Ha" moments in my journal - only page after page of self-righteous nonsense. Here is an example:
I felt empowered when I stood up to leave the crazy librarian's office. She was boring me and my time needs to be spent doing worthwhile, important things. (July 1992)
Need more? Here is another excerpt:
I want to be a Princess of Power and go around and energize people who are just too tired. Like a mother of five. Where does she get her empowerment from? From people like me. (August 1992)
Gulp. Who was this monstrous twenty something who had gained control of my journals? This cretonne who thought she was more important than others? This whippersnapper who thought she had super powers to offer a mother of five? (I doubt the 24 year old me ever thought of becoming a 46 year old mother of three.)
But, Prairie Friends, I did find inspiration in revisiting my journals.
Here is my idea. What if I pulled out some of the more outrageous, self-centered journal entries from my twenties (Which would pretty much be all of them) and responded to them as a 46 year old? I am going to give it a try no matter how painful it is to be inside my twenty something psyche. I'll keep you posted.
If you are like me and have piles of journals in the closet, consider reading them. What would you say to your younger self?